Please disregard

First three tickets this morning:

1. User unable to print. Solution: Turn on power to printer.
2. User complains that mouse does not work.
3. User from No. 2 asks to ignore previous complaint. Client showed her how to restart her computer. Mouse works now.

Some days you can just tell it's going to be wonderful.

No need to fabricate

Copied from our ticket system today, the entire content of a request. I have not used [sic], you may be assured that this is exactly how it was spelled:

"Working on word document and have problems on protecting and be able to
creating. Need these froms by Friday."

Why can't IT respond to these requests more quickly?
 

So, here at the org. we are saddled with something called "[redacted]," which the boys and girls are supposed to use for continuing education credits, to maintain various contract requirements with the gummint. [redacted] provides a website where someone with basic computer/InterWeb skills could possibly log in and navigate to an area where he/she could receive some learnin' and take a test to prove that he/she had acquired said learnin'.

Okay, so there's problems with this. First, we got that InterWeb. Apparently you gotta have the InterWeb on your computer to use this. And then there's the skills. And the navigatin'.

Lucky for us we have college-educated users with advanced degrees. Certainly such people would be familiar with basic use of the tubes, yes?

No.

The Human Racehorses department provided (via e-mail) the users with a link to the site. One of our managers replied:

neither BING nor Google could find [URL for redacted].

This is not uncommon. People come to us all the time having put something like our SSL Citrix login address into Yahoo! or AltaVista or whatever they're using, telling us that "the system is down."

I love the smell of dropped packets in the morning.