Thursday, May 13, 2010

Dude, you're getting f&*ked!

So that particular company that produces PC machines and uses the "dooood" guy--what a week with them! In just two days, I had the following insane conversations:

Me:  "I have a hard drive that is failing and needs to be replaced. Checkdisk shows that there is a large portion of the drive sectors that are damaged and unrepairable."
Dood-Company Tech: "Oh, well, you know, you can fix bad sectors by reformatting the drive."
Me: "HAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! Oh MY! Can I quote you on that?"
Dood-Company Tech: "Uh, my supervisor says I can swap this hard drive out for a replacement."

Me: "Hi, I received this hardware encrypted HD, and didn't get the software for it. Can you tell me if there is somewhere I can download it from?"
Dood-Company Tech: "No, I'm in the software department. You'll have to speak to someone in Hardware."

For the last one, this is just all kinds of extra-special. I received a laptop computer for a new-hire several weeks ago. On removing it from the shipping materials, I immediately noticed that it was missing 3 case screws, including the one that holds the DVD burner in place. When I tried to build the machine, the sound card failed. I immediately contacted our district sales manager, who assured me that there was going to be a new machine built and shipped to me within 5 days. 20 days and 37 *yes, 37 at that point* emails later, I still didn't have the machine, and there was no ETA for the build to even be completed. Then the most special part--the sales manager sent me the wrong email. He was trying to send virtually the same excuses to another user, in a completely different part of the state. He copied me on the ENTIRE email thread, some of which I've copied and pasted here. Someone, ANYONE needs to stand up and not only fire the sales manager, but also the tech who sent the original emails to this user:

The first part involves the user asking for a lemon-law replacement (30 days from date of purchase in CA). I'm posting all of the responses from the thread after this (these are unedited, please note the spelling and lack of grammar or punctuation. The only thing removed is the signatures and names of the innocent and guilty. Use spell-check for F&*ks sake people!):

Dood-Company Tech (DCT from here on out):
Friday April 16th
Good Morning, Madam

I am back to work so I need to confirm to you if you will process the return of the system? Or the exchange since today is the only day that you have to return the system since your 21 days return policy done today please let me know before the day done so that I am able to process the return for you or the exchange. If we process the return let me know if you will like labels t your e-mail account which can arrive within 24 hours or through the regular mail which will be deliver in less than 7 days please let me know.

Thank you so much for your patient


Poor User (referred to as PU):
Monday, April 19th
Please forward this issue to a supervisor, as I find it dishearting that a simple accommodation cannot be made, especially in the face of a horrible, essentially DOA product.

However, if that is not possible, please send me a replacement as soon as possible.

Monday, April 19th
Good morning I will be processing the exchange for you it will arrive within 7-10 business days if you do not agree with this terms let me know so that we can process the return please do it as soon as possible since you have already run out of time thank you. If we issued the exchange it will be similar product

Thursday, April 29th
I have not received the replacement laptop.  Can you please let me know the status?

 Friday, April 30th
Thank you for your re-ply let me go ahead and explain to you your system will arrive to you as I stated within 7-10 business days since we did not agree on nothing on the previous e-mail until today I send the request for the exc.  From here Mam if there is anything else you need assistance on please call 1800-624-9897 since I will be out of the  office for 2 week thank you.

Monday, May 10th
Good Afternoon,

After much ado about this exchange and your two assurances that a replacement system is on the way,  I still have not received the new laptop.

Additionally, when I phoned the number you gave, there is no record of this return in process.

Please explain what is the status of this return.

At this point the district sales manager screws up and sends me this email, rather than the one that applies to me. *sigh* This certainly engenders little confidence that my missing machine will EVER arrive.


  1. Somebody (not me) needs a hug...from a boa constrictor.