"Not Completely Awesome": February 2010

Monday, February 22, 2010

What I Like About Monday, So Far

One of our largest PITA (that ain't bread) users is giving a presentation in a conference room with her laptop hooked up to the projector in there. A large part of her show is to play a DVD for the people, no doubt the most intelligent part of the whole disaster. So, she starts playing the DVD, and there's no sound. Hm. Leave the room, run and get Me.

Have you ever played this DVD in this computer before? No. Any DVD? No. Of course this is 1-1/2 hours into a 2-hour dog&pony joke, I'm in there with 35 babbling audience members watching me trying to figure out why Windoze Media Player won't squeeze sound out of this disc.

Personally, I like to make sure stuff is going to work BEFORE I'm in front of the audience, but that's just me...

Friday, February 19, 2010

Technical Support Request

So, yesterday afternoon I was sitting behind my desk, forgot to lock and seal the door and turn all the lights off, and one of our particularly interesting users appeared in the doorway like the face of doom. She was waving a piece of paper, which, from where I was sitting, looked blank.

"Is there some way that I can write a letter and then save it so that I could use the same letter, perhaps with a few minor changes, at a later date?" (This is not an accurate quote. The real question was much more obtuse, vague, and hard to understand. I am sparing you, dear reader, many details that would cause pain.)

So, I took a deep breath and gave a general explanation of how to create and save a document, and suggested she could simply rename it each time with the date, or something like that. That seemed to interest her, but I could tell she was not satisfied.

"But when I try to type the letter, if I hit 'tab,' it goes into another one of those blocks."

Blocks?

"Are you using Word to write your letter?"

"Yes -- er, no. Excel."

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

So, here at the org. we are saddled with something called "[redacted]," which the boys and girls are supposed to use for continuing education credits, to maintain various contract requirements with the gummint. [redacted] provides a website where someone with basic computer/InterWeb skills could possibly log in and navigate to an area where he/she could receive some learnin' and take a test to prove that he/she had acquired said learnin'.

Okay, so there's problems with this. First, we got that InterWeb. Apparently you gotta have the InterWeb on your computer to use this. And then there's the skills. And the navigatin'.

Lucky for us we have college-educated users with advanced degrees. Certainly such people would be familiar with basic use of the tubes, yes?

No.

The Human Racehorses department provided (via e-mail) the users with a link to the site. One of our managers replied:

neither BING nor Google could find [URL for redacted].

This is not uncommon. People come to us all the time having put something like our SSL Citrix login address into Yahoo! or AltaVista or whatever they're using, telling us that "the system is down."

I love the smell of dropped packets in the morning.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

More or LESS Comcastic..

user Guest_ has entered room

analyst Alexa has entered room

Alexa>

Hello Guest_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support.

My name is Alexa.

 Please give me one moment to review your information.

Alexa>

Welcome to Comcast! How are you tonight?

Guest_>

Hi Alexa

Guest_>

I'm well

Alexa>

That's wonderful to hear! I will be very glad to serve you

today.

Alexa>

To confirm if the information that we recived is correct.

Please verify the following and let me know if there are

any incorrect data.

Guest_>

I'm curious as to what the current download/upload speeds

are that are offered in my area

Alexa>

Service Street Addr: XXXXX

Service Addr Apt:

Service Addr City: XXXX

Service Addr State: XXX

Service Addr Zip: XXXXXX

Guest_>

yes, that is correct

Alexa>

Thank you!

Alexa>

Please give me a minute to check on the internet speeds

offered in your market.

Alexa>

1. Economy with 1 Mbps download speed and

384 Kbps upload speed.

Alexa>

2. Performance with 12 Mbps download speed

and 2 Mbps upload speed.

Alexa>

3. Blast with 16 Mbps download speed and

2 Mbps upload speed.

Guest_>

that slow?

Guest_>

ouch

Alexa>

4. Ultra with 22 Mbps download speed and

5 Mbps upload speed.

Guest_>

sorry, I'm spoiled at work

Guest_>

and in my old comcast market

Alexa>

5.Extreme with 50 Mbps download speed and

10 Mbps upload speed.

Guest_>

what is the monthly pricing on extreme?

Alexa>

That would be $114.95 for internet only service

and $99.95 if you are subscribed to cable or

phone service.

Guest_>

really? isn't that the same speed as the speed

tier in WA state?

Guest_>

I think I paid $59.95

Alexa>

The speed I have provided you is for the

general D3 market which inlcudes CA and WA.

Alexa>

If you paid $59.95, you had the Performance Package.

Guest_>

I had speed tier when I worked for Comcast in

that market

Guest_>

it started at 10Mbps, went up to 25mpbs

Guest_>

I was told by my brother he's pulling 50Mbps down

Guest_>

probably because it is still a test market

Alexa>

Oh really. I do not think that is possible but we

offer High Speed Internet so the speed is way different

compared to DSL.

Guest_>

yeah, really

Guest_>

and there is better pricing for U-Verse at this point,

i just don't want AT&T in my house

Alexa>

I see.

Alexa>

As of now, we do not have any promotional offers for

internet only service.

Guest_>

here is my dilemma. I'm a gamer at home,

an IT nerd at work

Alexa>

These are the current levels of service that you can get.

Guest_>

I wanted HD DVR and Pref package as well

Guest_>

so are those speeds you told me throttled?

Alexa>

It will not affect your choice of internet service.

Guest_>

right, but it affects my initial promotional

pricing, right?

Guest_>

and are the speeds throttled?

Alexa>

Are the speeds throttled?- definitely not!

Alexa>

What do you mean by your intial promotional pricing?

Do you have an existing account with us?

Guest_>

so if I'm using my max bandwidth I'm not going to notice

a drop?

Guest_>

no, I don't, which is why it would be initial pricing

Alexa>

Of course.

Alexa>

Which promotional offer did you choose then?

Guest_>

I haven't yet, I've been asking questions to determine

what I want.

Alexa>

I see.

Alexa>

Promotional offers have terms and conditions that

have to be considered.

Alexa>

It will all depend on what promotional offer you choose.

Guest_>

yes, I know

Guest_>

I thought you were in sales

Guest_>

and are you sure they aren't throttling for any reason?

Alexa>

I am in sales, yes.

Alexa>

It is not throttling.

Guest_>

ok, so this is just heresay?

Guest_>

http://gizmodo.com/5123925/comcasts-internet-slowdown-

system-fully-armed-and-operational-and-avoidable

Alexa>

I would say so.

Alexa>

The website will let you know more about the product.

Alexa>

I can get you a link.

Alexa>

http://www.comcast.com/Corporate/Learn/HighSpeedInternet

/highspeedinternet.html?lid=2LearnHSI&pos=Nav

Guest_>

how about this?

Guest_>

http://www.dslreports.com/shownews/New-Comcast-

Throttling-System-100-Online-100015

Alexa>

This is the official website of Comcast.

Guest_>

Here's the official Comcast PDF file that

says you are throttling

Guest_>

http://downloads.comcast.net/docs/Attachment_

B_Future_Practices.pdf

Alexa>

www.comcast.com is the official site of Comcast.

Guest_>

wow

Guest_>

so what is comcast.net? Is it not the home of Comcast

internet services?

Alexa>

Comcast.net are for existing customers who are already

subscribed to Comcast.

Guest_>

wow, do you mind if I copy and paste your comments as an

example of what NOT to tell your users?

Alexa>

Not a problem!

Guest_>

Thank you very much for making up my mind for me.

I will go with ANY other company at this juncture.

Alexa>

Everything is documented. Do not worry.

Guest_>

Great, please document away. And make sure your supervisor

knows that you don't know your ass from a hole in the

ground either.

Guest_>

and have a lovely day.

Alexa>

You do thesame!

Alexa>

Take care!

"Not Completely Awesome"

Monday, February 22, 2010

What I Like About Monday, So Far

Friday, February 19, 2010

Technical Support Request

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

More or LESS Comcastic..

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